Reading the Times on Christmas Eve, thinking all was well with the Christmas World in our house, I got slapped in the face by a wet fish .

Julia, we must get down to the shops, NOW!

What? Where? Why ? ..Julia quietly questioned..

We are unprepared for any unexpected guests …and can’t make any salt cod crostinis

There were 2 pages of quick snacks for unexpected guests. The ingredients included cod,Roliolino(no I don’t know), fresh rocket, fresh spinach, 1kg of baby tomatoes, dried porcine mushrooms, fresh sage leaves and a whole lot more. We did not have one of these items . And  we ,certainly,don’t have these items sitting around doing nothing let alone at Christmas. 

Now, I don’t want to give the wrong impression but we don’t want unexpected guests, and if by some unfortunate freak of nature (we are not especially hospitable animals ) they did turn up, a turkey sandwich would have to do, assuming we were feeling that generous and wanted them to stay long enough to get their coats off.

What such an ‘esteemed ‘ organ of the press is doing printing  drivel the day before Christmas is beyond comprehension. Well, actually that’s not altogether true, as most of them print derivations of drivel on a daily basis. However, will Rupert Murdoch be suggesting to Jerry that they whip on down to the grocery store in Christmas Eve . No, of course not, but then I am bloody sure they don’t have unexpected guests. Mind you, Jerry was a bit unexpected .

Suppose, now this will go onto articles about being prepared for unexpected lovers at Valentines , how to prepare for discovering it’s not your real mother on Mothers Day, and finding out you are a proper little ‘bastard’on Father’s Day.

I have come to think that not only can you not trust what is printed in the press, apart from the tv listings and sports results, they rarely print anything of any use . 2016 , the year of post truth ( not completely sure what that really means, but don’t think it is any different from any other year) , 2017 could be the year of the half truth. One half being Brexit is bad for us, the other half  Brexit is good for us ! 

But above all, a personal appeal …please do not try and make your readers  feel inadequate or stupid, it only makes your journalists look stupid , and  then even less people will read Daily Newspapers…so who would look stupid then?

Post Christmas bah humbug over, Happy 2017.