Not Trump and a porn star. Not assassinated Russian spies . Not China’s President for life.

No, that esteemed purveyor of the UK’s news and information “The Times” lead with a discussion concerning the growth in demand for pineapples against that of avocados. Apparently, recently there has been a dramatic increase in demand of the former, challenging that of the latter(though there is a long way to catch up).

I just declare I am an avocado eater. It is probably over a year since I last bought a fresh pineapple, whilst buying a couple of avocados a week. Several reasons have been proffered for this phenomenon(not my eating habits). Amongst the reasons are the resurgence of the ‘Hawaiian’ pizza and another is the nostalgic pursuit of that seventies Party favourite..a chunk of pineapple, a chunk of tasteless cheese with a cocktail stick stuck through the middle. Piffle!

Others quote the alternative health benefits

1) Eating pineapple can help enhance your digestion, as bromelain aids in the breakdown of proteins.

2) Pineapple is a fantastic source of vitamin C, which is needed for a healthy functioning immune system.

3) Studies have shown that consumption of pineapple regularly helps fight against arthritis and indigestion.

4) Pineapple contains small amounts of vitamin A and beta-carotene levels which have antioxidant properties. Studies indicate that consumption of natural fruits rich in flavonoids helps the body to protect from lung and oral cancers.

5) Pineapple is rich in B-complex group of vitamins like folates, thiamin, pyridoxine, riboflavin and minerals like copper, manganese and potassium. In fact, raw pineapple is an excellent source of manganese giving over 75 per cent of our daily recommended allowance in a one cup serving.

Body and soul -Australian health web site

Now here are the big guns

• Avocado can help lower your cholesterol

• Avocado can help you lose weight

• Avocado is packed with carotenoids

• Avocado can help stabilize blood sugar

• Avocado can protect your unborn baby-and your heart

Readers Digest -Best Health web site

No contest.

There is, however,an impact upon hospital A&E departments. Apparently over the last couple of years there has been a preponderance of ‘Avocado knife’. This occurs when trying to de-stone the fruit (yes it is a fruit) various idiots manage to stick the knife into their hands. Can’t understand why. In the last three years of cutting avocados, I have never had the knife anywhere my precious and delicate skin. Whereas, if memory serves me well, the last time I tried cutting a pineapple, I had to hunt out a machete . If demand(for pineapples )continues on its present trajectory then I can see the A&E being swamped with patients carrying wrapped up fingers.

But here’s the rub….

So what’s this got to do with Brexit. Fortunately not a lot. Yet if you are an avocado enthusiast, you would be prepared to give up what you know , with the positives and negatives (like bad avocados, overripe and mushy) and go for the potential of pineapple, with all its connotations of sunshine, warmth, and happiness, but you might loose your fingers ?

I can see a parallel. They are both as rational. Yet, whichever is your personal incumbent preference, you will never discover whether you would benefit from the alternative. Not unless you gave up one, eat the other for ten years and then see if you are healthier and happier……..do you care? Have you got the time? Will pineapples eventually become avocados? Me , personally? Can’t see much fun in a pineapple, chicken and mayo sandwich ….