You’re Toast…..

Plagues, pestilence, pandemics,post apocalyptic scenes of retail destruction, are not for here.

During the last fifty years there has been an extraordinary period of massive technological development. From communications and computerisation , through travel to medicine , entertainment and so many areas that impact our everyday lives . You can turn the central heating back on at home via your smart phone from the other side of the globe.

It feels that every day brings an announcement of some monumental change. Electric, self driving cars, electric planes, robot surgery , it is ceaseless. Yet there is one area which remains exactly where it was fifty years ago. Technology has been defeated by the humble slice of bread. Nothing, absolutely nothing, de nada…. has changed.

Yes, a few extra dials have been added on some models . Now you can toast your Bagel on a Bagel setting. You can defrost your bread on a defrost setting. But they are only cosmetic. In reality they are just words on the dial as they are only timing setting that have always been there. They, all, still just toast and not very well, like what they did before . We wont even go to the Commercial Toaster. Yes we will.

That worse than useless bit of kit that they have at buffet breakfasts in hotels, that creates long queues, where you have to write your name (in case somebody nicks it) on the bread because you will have to go around at least twice, and then by the time you get back to your table, hottish, vaguely brown toast has become cold and soggy.

Commercial Toaster

Where are the Elon Musks, Steve Jobs, James Dysons of the Toaster World ? Is it because it ain’t sexy like electric cars, iPhone and Vacuum cleaners . If so what is sexy about a Vacuum cleaner ?

The UK market, alone, is worth about 5 Million toasters a year (this, apparently does not include Commercial toasters). The world market has an approximate value of £1 Billion. So it is a toasty (sorry weak pun over tasty) market. One issue maybe the potential returns. In the early sixties the price of a toaster was about £6 (not much different to the average minimum wage). Yes, you can still buy a toaster for £6. Yet that did not stop Dyson making an amazingly expensive vacuum cleaner ,with which you don’t even get any bags!

That said, if we assume that six quid was just about a weeks wage, today you can buy a piece of kit (drone) that you fly remotely, drops bags of drugs into prison yards, film your neighbours unruly kids from a great height (or worse) or fires high powered missiles into unsuspecting enemies from 6000 miles away ( I know they cost a bit more than a weeks wages) for much the same sort of money.

Hands up we are a fifty quid toaster couple. Yes, ours can toast 4 slices , heat bagels, defrost bread and lasts 9-10 years (average toaster life is 4-5 years) but we cannot guarantee that the bread gets toasted in the same way every time. However, the sixties toaster could do all that except toast 4 pieces. That’s toaster innovation for you.

This week alone there has been the announcement of speakers that you can hear, and you alone. Yes, four ( is that allowed) of you can sit in a room and it creates an audible bubble that only you (whoever you is ) can hear the speaker- no head phones ! Don’t ask , I don’t know . What I do know is I can put a slice of bread in my toaster and I have no idea what it will look like until it has popped up. Maybe toasting is more exciting.

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